December birthdays are kind of the worst. Trying to celebrate your big day in the middle of everybody’s holiday festivities is a recipe for disaster. From people who flat-out forget to wish you “happy bday” to annoying relatives who merge it and holiday gifts together, here’s why you — yeah, you with the December birthday! — are the real MVP.
1. You get joint birthday and holiday presentsWhen you were a little kid, your letters to Santa covered both your holiday AND birthday wishes. Now that you’re older, you know the drill when you ask your parents for a new phone this December. It goes something like, “Of course, darling, we’ll get you that phone for your birthday and Christmas” — when you know for a fact that if your birthday was in July, you could totally get a phone for Christmas and an extra $200 for your summer bday.
2. If you’re in college, you might have finals on your big day
If your birthday is in the first half of December, that lands smack in the middle of finals week. If you don’t have an exam on your birthday itself, odds are you still have to spend the entire day studying for a final you have later that week. Maybe you can tie a balloon to your library carrel to get into the spirit.
3. Your friends can’t come to your birthday celebrations because #familytime
Everyone’s home on winter break, so you can’t go out with your college friends. All your grade school BFFs are busy catching up with their relatives. Now what do you do? Spend your bday with your parents?! Chilling with your crazy fam isn’t the worst thing, don’t get me wrong — but when you’ve already spent every holiday ever with them, a little break would be nice.
4. Your birthday party inevitably turns into a holiday party without your permission
You want everyone to dress up in cute skirts and heels. Naturally, they decide to show up in ugly sweaters instead.
You want everyone to dress up in cute skirts and heels. Naturally, they decide to show up in ugly sweaters instead.
5. That is, if the snowy weather doesn’t ruin your plans
When there’s too much ice on the roads for your guests to drive to your party…well, you can’t really have a party, can you?
When there’s too much ice on the roads for your guests to drive to your party…well, you can’t really have a party, can you?
6. Your birthday presents are wrapped in holiday-themed pape
rThis isn’t a huge deal, but come on. Would it really be that much more effort to buy a roll of birthday — or even neutral, non-holiday-themed — wrapping paper? Or, like, use a newspaper?
rThis isn’t a huge deal, but come on. Would it really be that much more effort to buy a roll of birthday — or even neutral, non-holiday-themed — wrapping paper? Or, like, use a newspaper?
7. Your birthday cake is red and green even if you hate those colors
It’s like your parents — or whoever ordered the stupid cake — KNEW your birthday would turn into an ugly sweater party. Let’s just hope mistletoe doesn’t magically appear somewhere.
It’s like your parents — or whoever ordered the stupid cake — KNEW your birthday would turn into an ugly sweater party. Let’s just hope mistletoe doesn’t magically appear somewhere.
8. Your birthday presents go under the tree because they look pretty there
This leads to one of two problems if your birthday isn’t on Christmas itself (which I’m sure has its own set of struggles). If your birthday is before xmas, you feel guilty for opening your bday prezzies early. And if your birthday is after xmas, you can’t resist tearing open ALL your gifts — including the ones you were supposed to save for your bday — on Christmas morning. There’s no winning.
This leads to one of two problems if your birthday isn’t on Christmas itself (which I’m sure has its own set of struggles). If your birthday is before xmas, you feel guilty for opening your bday prezzies early. And if your birthday is after xmas, you can’t resist tearing open ALL your gifts — including the ones you were supposed to save for your bday — on Christmas morning. There’s no winning.
9. People tend to forget your birthday’s exact date…if they remember your birthday at all
They just know it’s vaguely around the time of the holidays. Everyone is insanely preoccupied with winter festivities and family obligations, which means texting you a quick “happy birthday” sometimes slips their mind. Not many people are posting heartfelt photo collages and well wishes on your Facebook wall, either. These things stink at first, but don’t worry. The people who truly matter always take the time out of their hectic schedule for you.
They just know it’s vaguely around the time of the holidays. Everyone is insanely preoccupied with winter festivities and family obligations, which means texting you a quick “happy birthday” sometimes slips their mind. Not many people are posting heartfelt photo collages and well wishes on your Facebook wall, either. These things stink at first, but don’t worry. The people who truly matter always take the time out of their hectic schedule for you.
10. Birthday discounts are useless because everything’s already on sale during the holidays
It’s even more frustrating when the holiday discount is higher than the birthday one. Now you know what the real priority is this time of year.
It’s even more frustrating when the holiday discount is higher than the birthday one. Now you know what the real priority is this time of year.
11. All the fun is rolled into one month, not spread out throughout the year
You can’t look forward to the normal birthday pick-me-up a few months down the road, which stinks — but you do get to have a doubly awesome December, which almost makes up for it.
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